I am still gradually realizing just how unloving and constrictive it was to be in the Organization. We were brainwashed into thinking that the control was just God's high moral standards. How clever Satan is. We were afraid to be honest, even when there was nothing to hide, because we sensed how judgmental and critical the spirit was that surrounded us. There was no real acceptance of a person's worth, and an affection aimed at bringing the best out in people...
there was just a policing supervision driven by a tyranical demand for conformity under one whip. This is exactly what Satan needed to create, in order to keep any prospective heirs captive and enslaved...not free for spirit to do it's work in them...not free to be close to Christ and his direction.
I still marvel a bit that I was so blind. There is always a fear that you can't be your vulnerable open self, without risking being labeled as bad. It certain made me anxious to, "tow the line", never feeling good enough, when in reality, I never did anything but try to please God and show love to others. Perhaps because all the demands were unceasing, and no one could ever measure up. So of course, we felt worthless. I guess that if you hear it a thousand times, that you are in the only place where the love of Christ really exists, you doubt your own perceptions when others are truly hurtful and proud.
The reason I say this Daz, is because I don't want anyone here to have that kind of insecurity or anxiety....that they will be cast aside and scorned for being honest. All fall short of the glory of God, and as long as we love God and are trying our best to please him,
who dares to condemn such a person? All here have been touched by God's spirit, and it's offer of an indescribable and endless life.
Mindful that critical eyes are always looking at us from outside our forum. we try to adorn the truth. But at the same time, we don't put on pretensive airs.
I trust your discretion ... all of you, to share the reality of your lives as a record of this unique era in human history.
We are all in the process of learning, growing, and being refined. I'm sure our expressions show that over time. Thanks be to our heavenly Father that He patiently makes the seeds of truth in our heart, grow. In humility and love, we can appreciate that about ourselves and others.
As long as this forum is not used to teach error in an assertive manner, I have hope that your expressions and the experience of gathering to interact, will be a positive one.
I thank God for all of you,