I am so glad you are here with us. It sounds like you have endured so much pain, and what you have shared, I'm sure, is only the surface of it.
If you are like me, it takes a lot of desperation to reach the point of asking for help from the elders. How brutalizing it is, when they treat us with such cruelty in response.
I hear about this a lot, but my personal experience with it gives me a degree of understanding about how their power ravages our soul.
The injustices are outrageous, and when faced with this, we are shocked and perplexed, as our illusion of "loving shepherds" is painfully torn apart within our heart and before our eyes.
We come away remembering what we were taught....that the elders are the only recourse allowed for tangible help, lest we be accused of "not trusting in Jehovah's arrangement"....
or worse, "turning to Satan's world" for support. I fear for them, on the day our heavenly Father turns to them with all the rage He has stored up in behalf of His "skinned and thrown about" lambs.
These men have no idea what they are in for, as the #1 Gentile enemy of God alive today. Their arrogance and pride has lead them into becoming "the abomination causing desolation", and a "disgusting thing standing in a Holy Place". Self-assuming, they have stolen the priesthood of God's chosen ones. Ill-equipped, hearts uncircumcised, and dominated by the natural "Gentile" desires for authority and prominence;
the spiritual and emotional harm they are doing to both anointed and not, can only be fully estimated within the mind of God.
This is an injustice and violation that should never have come to be. Yet we know that this is still Satan's dominion, and the prophetic warnings Jesus gave us, must come to pass.
I thank our loving Father for drawing lamb-like ones such as yourself, to His precious, refreshing, saving waters of Truth. He is determining who among mankind will be rescued for everlasting life, as we navigate through the end of the harvest by means of His spirit. Though we are told there will be "few", we rejoice for each one saved by His grace.
...not only to the forum (which is nothing but a safe place of comfort and rest), but to an invitation to eternity, free of the present tribulation and pain, reserved for those who truly love God.
I hope you continue to feel safe enough to pour out your heart, and will honor us by continuing to share the testimony of your experiences. They not only benefit us, but all who pass this way. A record needs to be established for all eternity, about the reality of our day...a witness to the veracity of God's Word...and that all He predicted indeed came true. We are those witnesses of the final Wild Beast and the shameless Harlot who rides it. The hidden deeds that occur in secret are due to be uncovered, and so they will, in part, through the lips of each of us. As we continue to turn to our Father and trust our complaints to His Hands; we are assured that our God of Justice, will repay. We, like Him, do not delight in the deaths of the wicked, but fearfully pray for their repentance. Yet it is not wrong to look forward to our deliverance and rescue from this pit of test, when God sets all things straight...when those acting shamefully will bear their shame...and those who have acted in loyalty and love for truth, will be lifted up, never to suffer the trampling of the proud, ever again.
The words of Jesus Christ console us, even while we suffer. He assures us that we have great reason to rejoice, even while we suffer under the crushing weight of shame and injustice. He declared that our reward is great in the heavens...So great, that the human mind cannot image it (1Cor.2:9; Matt.5:2-12). We do not have long to wait for this rescue. Jesus said that when you see the twigs, leaves, early fruit, and blossoms of the fig tree appear, the Kingdom of God is at the door (Matt.24:32,33; Song of Solomon2:13). The trees of life are now "getting their lamps in order" (Matt.25:7), and they have even begun their move toward producing fruit for life everlasting...sourced in the true vine (John15:5,8; Matt.7:15-20). "Raise yourselves erect, because your deliverance draws near.". (Luke21:28)
The judicial committee was prophesied about in Job's three false friends, who came to him under the guise of comforters, when in reality they sought to accuse him, and blame him for being responsible for his tribulations. Job is the proto-type of all those born in sin, who prove righteous for everlasting life, even after subjection to Satanic sifting (Luke22:31; Job1:9,11,12). But "after you have suffered a little while" the everlasting comfort of God will reach us (1Pet.5:10). As James 5:11 reads;
"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
Even now, we can trust in God as Job did, at Job10:12;
"You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.".
I know that you will continue to feel the loss of your husband as long as this life continues. Try to find comfort in the moments of love and happiness stored up in your memory, until the day you are re-united. It is not far off. Until then, let us all persevere as Job did, knowing our labors to serve our God whom we love, are not in vain, but work out for us a salvation beyond our dreams (1Cor.15:58; Phil.2:12-18).
Please know that you are a treasure to us, as you are to our Father.
Love in Christ,